Ten Ways to Improve Your Dating Life in Your 30s

Dating Life in Your 30s

Dating is easy when you're 20 years old: browsing personals, dating girls you met in bars, constantly breaking hearts, and having your heart broken in turn. It always gets a bit more complicated when you hit 30, as years of heartbreak, increased work obligations, & lifestyle changes have unfortunately put a damper on your dating game. Don't worry, though — we've gathered ten tips to help you easily find a girlfriend in your 30s!

  1. Figure out what you want. Before you can put yourself out there, it's important to determine what you actually need from a partner. Are you looking for an equal contributor or more of a support system? Take some time out of your day to write down qualities you need, want, & definitely wish to avoid in a partner. Having these written down will help guide your romantic choices in the future. Especially on the so-called "Personals Dating" stage when you are to gather as much information from an individual's personals as possible.
  2. Don't wait for the "perfect" partner. While it always works out in movies, unfortunately, the Juliet to your Romeo is unlikely to just show up on your doorstep. That doesn't mean you have to settle: rather, you should always have realistic expectations. Just because your friend has already found the "perfect" partner doesn't mean you won't, but always remember that everyone has flaws. Part of dating is actually acceptance, so don't waste your time waiting for the perfect someone who's already got it made.
  3. Worry less about their age. Age usually becomes less important as you grow older. While you can certainly only date people in your age group, there's nothing wrong with dating someone younger or older than yourself. Actually, sticking to a certain age range will severely limit your options! Always search for someone who makes you happy. Age is just a number, after all.
  4. Only invest your time in the right people. You can usually tell right away if someone is troublesome, so simply don't bother with the drama queens. At the same time, you certainly shouldn't waste time on someone you don't see a future with. If you can't seriously see yourself married to them at some point, don't waste their time. Break it off politely, and continue your search for an enjoyable relationship.
  5. Leave the past alone. Chances are, you've already been scorned by women in the past. Don't let this hold you back, and definitely don't express this contempt while you're out on a date — she certainly doesn't want to hear how your ex screwed you over! You can always learn from the past, but it's important to remember that you're in the present now. Focus on what you can change, not what you can't.
  6. Be honest. This actually applies to both how you present yourself and what your intentions are. Don't try to act rich if you're not, and don't act like a partier if you're an introvert. You'll always struggle to form honest connections if your relationship is based on fabrications. When you're starting to see someone, be blunt with what you're looking for. If you want to get married right away, say that. Just looking for something casual with the potential for more? Let your date know!
  7. Date new people. Unfortunately, many people stick to dating those they already know. You miss a lot of opportunities by doing this! Give online dating a try, or at least try to meet new women while you're out. If your soulmate is a part of your life, you'd already be matched up. If you're reading this, you're probably still single, so expand your horizons & go meet some new people!
  8. Explore all available options. Sticking to a certain "type" of person may actually be preventing you from finding a meaningful relationship. Consider dating outside of your "type": you may enjoy the change, & also, you'll learn how different types of relationships work. Do you typically date volleyball players? Give that cute girl from the library a try!
  9. Don't write off divorced people. Unfortunately, between 40-50% of marriages end in divorce, so you're likely to run into a divorcée. Don't write them off immediately; they may actually be your "perfect" partner, & they've probably learned a bit from their previous marriage that they can easily apply to your relationship!
  10. Be pleasant. This one is fairly obvious, but first impressions are everything. Always be polite to your date, and never make her wait. Chivalry quickly becomes more valuable as you age, so you can make most dates a success by simply being enjoyable to be around. Making her laugh always helps, so think of some jokes that you can share together!