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It's Party Time!
Group swingers get ready
By Brandon Tanner
Hose off the patio or deck, set up the Hawaiian torches, clean up the barbecue and stock up on food and drink. Winter’s history and it’s time for a serious swing-party! Good plan and it makes you want to get down big-time!
Some of our readers are experienced in hosting a swing-party. However many
are not and they are the target audience for this article. Those of you who’ve
'been there, done that' might learn something new.
Loren (my wife) and I have done articles on swinging, but geared to intimate
sessions with just two couples. The focus of this discussion is on a much bigger
event. We’ve been there, done that, and our experience can help you plan and
enjoy a great swing-party at your house.
Yes, folks, it takes advanced planning and a real desire to pull it off. Good.
Loren’s here and she can give us a lot of great information. You should see the
sexy outfit she’s wearing.
LOREN: “Just for you, Dear. What did I miss?”
TANNER: "Nothing, we’re into planning a great swing-party and understanding
what it takes to make it happen."
LOREN: “Okay, let’s look at few small things not-to-do.”
TANNER: "Ordering three kegs of beer before the RSVPs come in would be one
of those."
LOREN: “We’ve been that stupid.”
TANNER: "My point exactly. We also wound up with a week’s worth of finger-food stuffed in the fridge."
LOREN: “Regarding the matter of alcohol … be advised: if you provide booze,
beer or wine you cannot charge for it, it must be free. The cops can get you for
selling alcohol without a license.”
TANNER: "There’s the key; you charge a reasonable fee per couple to cover
your expenses (not to include alcohol). Guests bring their own booze. An
acceptable fee is about $30.00 per couple, $15.00 for singles. Loren will get
more into that aspect later."
LOREN: “Right, I will, but a word about singles should be covered here. Think
about it … if you allow single men to attend your party they can and will out
number your other guests. Allowing single females seems hot, but it usually
backfires.”
TANNER: "That applies to private, home-parties. The commercial Swing-Clubs
are another story and we’re not addressing those here. Why do single females
cause a problem at a private swing-party?"
LOREN: “It all depends on the attitude of the other females who come to the party
with male partners.”
TANNER: "Are we talking jealous here?"
LOREN: “Yes, but it’s basic really. The couple, especially, if married, has been
together for a while. They have a rhythm, a feel for each other. Swinging with
another couple isn’t a problem. Introduce a slinky, sexy single-female and sparks
may fly.”
TANNER: "That can kill a swing-party real quick. Okay, single men at the party,
what’s your take on that?"
LOREN: “It’s a little different animal. Every time we’ve placed an ad to have a
swing-party and clearly stated NO SINGLE MEN! We’ve been overwhelmed with
single men wanting to attend the party – can’t they read?” Loren shakes her
head.
TANNER: "That pisses you off, please be specific."
LOREN: “The mail from the dudes who can’t understand, NO SINGLE MEN!
Seems to indicate they’re above the rule, they’re something special! They offer
security service, a fantastic addition to a threesome. They fail at both offers and if
you allow single men to your private swing-party prepare for trouble.”
TANNER: Okay, the idea here is to have a nice swing-party in a private home
and have it be successful and pleasant for all involved. There are guidelines that
work and rules to make the party flow smoothly. Let’s sidestep for a moment and
cover a couple of, what I would call professionally organized, private, swing-parties."
LOREN: “You’re meaning California and Texas?”
TANNER: "You got it … lay it out for us."
LOREN: “I’ll start with California, but remember your party doesn’t have to be on
such a level.”
TANNER: "The difference is obvious."
LOREN: “This is in the area of the top-ten swingers-parties. The setting is a
sprawling ranch complex about twenty-five miles east of San Diego, California.
Weekend swing-parties there are well known in adult circles and you have to be
in those circles to be invited. It’s couples only and the fee is $500.00. That
charge covers all accommodations, food and drink for the entire weekend. You
have access to a pool, sauna, and complete bar and catered food service for the
weekend. All booze is provided upon request. That was the downfall of the great
swingers weekend. The local law couldn’t get the operators on anything else but
selling booze without a license!”
TANNER: And they shut them down.
LOREN: “Fast – and the law gained nothing – fines all around and not squat
more!”
TANNER: Tell us about Texas.
LOREN: “Sorry … I just can’t stand the bullshit that headline-seeking politicians
try to dump on us every day."
TANNER: "Texas, Loren, what can we learn from there?"
LOREN: “We spent three years there and learned a great deal. I mean Dallas
specifically.”
TANNER: "It was great!"
LOREN: “A friend of ours has established a rock-solid swinger’s club in his own
home. It’s high-end, organized and very successful. Get this – the charge per
couple is $35.00 and they bring their own booze. There’s a special singles-night
for men and women, usually in the middle of the week. These folks pay half price,
bring their own booze and mix together as they will.”
TANNER: "Okay, back to reality. What about the novice couple who would like to
get a swinger’s party going?"
LOREN: “Usually a couple has done some swinging or has attended a swing-club. You should have a good idea about swinging before you decide to open
your home to several couples you don’t know.”
TANNER: "What’s a good way to get educated in the art of swinging?"
LOREN: “Go to an adult club that’s well known and observe. If you feel the urge,
get involved. Another way is to get involved with a foursome and see how it
goes.”
TANNER: "I think you’d know if it’s your thing right away."
LOREN: “Exactly. You’ve heard the phrase; ninety percent of sex is in the mind.”
TANNER: "I thought that applied to men."
LOREN: “It does, dear. However, some couples get a hot idea in their heads
because they’ve seen pictures or videos of group sex and or swing-parties. They
fantasize about it and build it up in their mind. Sometimes fantasy should be left
at just that.”
TANNER: "You’re scaring the readers."
LOREN: “I think I’m offering a fair warning. Give the idea some serious thought
before you jump in with both feet.”
TANNER: "Sounds kinky."
LOREN: “You’re impossible. What I’m saying is; look at the whole picture. Do you
really want six-to-ten couples drinking, smoking, eating and having sex all over
your house?”
TANNER: "Rules, love … you have to have a set of rules everyone understands
before they come to the front door."
LOREN: “Excellent point and it’s really necessary if you want to have a great
party.”
TANNER: "Tell us from your experience."
LOREN: “Gladly. Once you’ve decided on having a swing-party, start promoting it
at least a month in advance and avoid Friday night.”
TANNER: "What’s wrong with Friday night?"
LOREN: “Nothing, I love it, but most couples have worked all day, it’s already six
o’clock, they need some time to wind down. Considering an 8:00 or 9:00 PM
party twenty or more miles away can take the spark out of it.”
TANNER: "So Friday night is out?"
LOREN: “Not altogether, but our experience indicates less response for a Friday
night swing-party. In fact, the clubs we’ve attended have cut prices and allowed
singles on Friday nights just to get more people in.”
TANNER: "Two of them have stopped operating on Friday nights."
LOREN: “There it is, apply the facts to your own party plans. Don’t try for a Friday
night bash, make it Saturday. And, unless you’re really established as a great
swinger’s host, don’t even consider week-night parties … they fail every time.”
TANNER: "What about the other rules? We’re running out of space here."
LOREN: “Decide if you’ll allow smoking, if not, make that clear. If cameras are
going to be allowed, make sure you say so up front. Many swingers don’t want
pictures or video and they will not attend your party. If you do allow photos or
video, respect the wishes of those who decline.”
TANNER: "What else? We need to move on."
LOREN: “Don’t allow drunkenness, fighting, arguments, or forced activity of any
kind – NO IS NO! That must be respected. Over book – right, just like the
airlines.”
TANNER: "We learned that the hard way."
LOREN: “We did indeed. Post your party message in as many personal ad
places as you can. Be specific on how many couples you want to attend. Ask for
an E-mail so you can send more information. Your response is where you lay out
the rules, the date and time of the event and any theme you might have in mind.
This is where you request an RSVP and a MUST phone call (give your phone
number in an E-mail only) NOT in the ad you place. If fifteen couples respond and
you can handle only ten – let it go; you’ll only get about five couples to actually call
you to get directions and two of those won’t make it. That’s how it is,
people go on and on about being swingers, but when you get to the bottom line, they’re full
of beans!”
TANNER: "We’re being up front here because we’ve 'been there, done that'. We
don’t mean to put a wet blanket over your swing-party, just understand what you
hope to undertake. As Loren suggested, themes work, we know that first hand."
LOREN: “Holiday themes are obvious, make costumes optional (some people
won’t go to the trouble). For a non-holiday bash come up with something kinky
and plan on decorating to reflect the theme.”
TANNER: "Sweetheart, we have to wrap."
LOREN: “I suggest a month of posting ads before the event. Post to as many
personal ad sites as you can. We know Sexy ADS works. We hosted a fantastic
swinger’s-party last October with a Halloween theme. We followed that with a
Thanksgiving theme and both were a great success.”
TANNER: "The Halloween party was a major blast. However, the Thanksgiving
theme proved to be an absolute turkey fest."
LOREN: “Funny. There’s a lot more to show and tell in regard to swing-parties.
Plan your party with care and attention to details.”
TANNER: "Thanks, Loren. I'm sure our readers will be much better prepared now
that we have had this little chat."
Take care,
Brandon Tanner
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